Alternate Circumstances
by MillicentMelodyMay08
Summary: (First Casualty Fanfic!) What would have happened had Ash not let Connie sit in the front seat on the day of the accident? How would one tiny decision change the fate of all? "Everything's blurred; muffled voices speak unheard words, crying for help that is not yet on its way". Based on S29 Ep5.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Casualty or any of it's brilliant characters.**

**A/N: Hello! This is my first Casualty fanfic. After watching the episode last week I just had to write something! Ashamedly I admit that that episode was the first one I'd ever watched, so since then I've been watching any episode I can get my hands on. Hopefully the characters will be 'in character'. I'm not sure I know them quite as well as you all do :) The fic is based on episode 5 and follows on from there. I know most of this chapter is the same as the episode but there will be changes. The question is what would have happened had Ash not let Connie sit in the front seat? Please read and review if you would be so kind. Enjoy :) x**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 1<strong>

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><p>"Right, the map for St. Stephens," Mrs Beauchamp announces as she struts her way into the staffroom of Holby ED and slides the map right under Dr. Hardy's nose. "I want to be on the road in ten minutes."<p>

Looking up from his phone, Ethan glances down at the worn map, a little amused at the idea of using such a traditional method of navigation. "Ah, great, I've actually got sat nav on my," he starts to say, but finds that Mrs Beauchamp has already left the room in a hurry, "... phone."

He smiles awkwardly as Robyn enters the room, a cluster of files clutched to her stomach. "Ohh, you lot get to go off on your jollies. And I get stuck with a burst colostomy bag. It's not even nine o'clock."

Ash grins. "I'd rather deal with the colostomy bag, myself." He turns to smile knowingly at Robyn only to find Mrs Beauchamp standing in her place. She frowns, a hand on her hip. "Need I remind you how important this is?"

It's strange how no one seems to understand what a good opportunity this is, Connie thought. It's a win-win situation. But Ash isn't at all convinced. "Telling a failing hospital how to do it? They're going to love us."

Connie refrains from making a face, now aware of the other two doctors listening to the short, if not rather argumentative, conversation. "Actually, we are sharing our expertise to raise standards across the NHS, which, by the way," a tone of annoyance creeps unbidden into her voice and she places the last file in Ethan's hand, "is a condition for additional funding."

Then she saunters out of the room, wishing she wasn't quite so mithered about the whole situation. All she tries to do is create opportunities for the ED, but at the same time she feels like her staff tries to trip her up at every corner as if they all want her to fail. Perhaps they do? Nobody seems to think that things have changed since she became clinical lead, and yet the difference is massive from her point of view. So, if helping another hospital is seen as inauspicious and divisive, then there really is nothing else for her to do. She knows they all called her 'The Ice Queen'… not that it bothers her too much. Ash rolls his eyes at Ethan and takes a deep breath as he exits the room. "I'll speak when I'm spoken to."

Taking heed of Mrs Beauchamp's words, Ethan collects his things and starts to make sure that he has everything he needs. He still has a good five minutes to spare. Of course it would not do at all to be late; they have a reputation to maintain.

"Wow! They're letting you drive!" Cal comments as he spots his little brother near the Reception. "Obviously in no rush."

"Oh, yes," Ethan replies sarcastically as he flicks through the last file, "I forgot the ability to push an accelerator to the floor is one of the key signs of manliness."

Cal grins. "Remember, our funding depends on this. So let's make sure your little stutter doesn't make a guest appearance, alright?"

Ethan stares at him for a moment, a million replies on the tip of his tongue. And then, deciding that it's best not to end the conversation with cynical remarks and jabs, he walks away. His brother really does infuriate him at times. Actually, he infuriates him all the time. Making his way outside to the car, Ethan buries that thought in the back of his mind and tries to focus on the present situation. Upon opening the door and sitting in the driver's seat, he stares forlornly at the various buttons and switches scattered across the dashboard. It's nothing like his own car, but still he enjoys a challenge.

"Hey! Hey! Watch it!" Lily yelps as Ethan turns on the screen wash, sending water all over the young doctor. He grimaces. "Sorry, so sorry," Ethan apologises. "Just trying to familiarise myself with the, err, doo-dah's."

Lily sighs and takes off her glasses, inspecting the micro-drops of screen-wash that are now scattered across the lenses. It was such a pain to clean them. Ash opens the passenger door and goes to get in, but as he does so Ethan accidentally blasts the horn which makes Ash jump right out of his skin.

"Well, I've got the horn," Ethan confirms, trying to look on the bright side of things. "Sorry."

Ash rolls his eyes and puts on the seatbelt. "He can do a rapid intubation, but a people carrier is beyond him."

Lily smirks from the backseat, polishing her glasses as she watches the conversation progress with slight amusement. They were such kids sometimes.

"Are you going to sit there?" Ethan asks turning to Ash, his eyebrows raised in sudden realisation. "I sort of assumed Mrs Beauchamp would want the front."

"Because she has longer legs?" Ash surmises hopefully. Lily carefully puts on her glasses. "Because, she's the boss."

"I understand the hierarchy," Ash continues with a huff, highly frustrated that such a simple thing as seating arrangements proves so difficult, "but surely this is a question of legroom, and legroom alone."

Ethan smiles, spotting Mrs Beauchamp walking towards them in the wing mirror. "Well, it's a brave man who puts her in the back seat."

Ash frowns, thinking about it, but he doesn't move. He's going to sit in the front seat whether the Wicked Witch likes it or not. Ethan shakes his head as Lily slinks back in her seat, anticipating the conversation about to follow. The clinical lead approaches and comes to a halt beside the passenger door. Ash stares awkwardly at his feet, a sudden sense of dread rising in the pit of his stomach. If looks could kill, he knows he'd be dead by now. Connie frowns for a moment, but if she'd expected the seat to be empty she hides her surprise well. Nobody notices Tess getting in next to Lily, a tray of coffees in her hand. The tension is far too great.

But then much to everyone's surprise, Connie, who decides to leave the matter alone, directs her focus on Ethan. "All set?"

The fact that she isn't creating any fuss shocks him speechless, and he nods in reply. Connie smiles softly before turning away and getting into the back seat behind Tess and Lily, the map still in her hand just in case they should need it. Ash blinks rapidly, not entirely sure what has just happened. Did the Ice Queen just smile?

Ethan grins stupidly, and gets out his phone. "It's got everything the standard Sat Nav has, even the turn-by-turn commands."

"Does it have a mute button?" Connie asks from the back. Ash flashes a look in Ethan's direction, whose determination has faltered slightly. Ethan shrugs. "Err… yes," and then he puts the phone on mute. But if one thing's for certain he's definitely _not_ using that map. He smiles and starts the engine. "Right... Allon-zy!"


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Casualty. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Hello everyone! Wow, I can't believe the response I've had after just one chapter! You guys are amazing! Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed so far :D It really means a lot. So, here's the next update as requested. If you have the time, please leave a review to let me know what you think. Any constructive criticism is also welcome. Enjoy :) x**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2<strong>

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><p>They must have taken a wrong turn somewhere or they would have been there by now. The map is, according to Lily, wrong, and the Sat Nav, according to Ethan, has confused itself and is now offline - which leaves them all in a slight predicament.<p>

Connie sighs loudly, shaking her head slowly from side to side as she listens to Ash and Ethan squabbling over the directions. Have they passed a sign for St. Stephens? Are they going south? Is there a service station anywhere?

She looks out of the window. If this doesn't ruin their reputation and destroys any chance of getting additional funding for the ED then she doesn't know what will.

Can't they just pull over and ask a passer-by for advice?

Tess rolls her eyes at the clinical lead over her shoulder, bringing a shadow of a smile to Connie's lips. At least someone's brave enough to make me smile, she thinks. Deciding that enough is enough, Connie takes out her phone and dials the number for St. Stephens. "Hello. Right, sorry, this is Mrs Beauchamp from Holby ED..."

"Have we gone over the B2379 yet?" Lily asks, the map open in her lap. Ethan shakes his head, wondering whether he should just keep driving until they end up somewhere or simply pull over. "Um... not sure."

"We're stuck between two pages, it's really hard to see," Lily explains as she peers at the map, though she doubts whether anyone is listening.

"... Yes, I know, I'm sorry..." Connie says apologetically, a hand over her ear as she tries to make herself heard amidst the ensuing chaos. "I'm afraid we're going to be a little late," she frowns. "One of my most promising doctors can't read a map."

Lily glances at Connie from behind her glasses, unsure of what to think. On one hand Mrs. Beauchamp had complimented her by saying she was promising, but then she had implied that she was an idiot because she can't read a map; an insult and a commendation. Lily frowns, her head down. It hurts, but it doesn't hurt.

"It's not my fault," Lily says suddenly, deciding to speak up for herself. "The roads aren't where they're supposed to be. It's an old map."

"She's right," Tess leans over Lily's shoulder, trying to pinpoint their position. It just had to happen on today of all days. Typical.

"Well, we've obviously taken a wrong turn somewhere," Ash groans, stating the obvious as Connie ends the call, mortified at having to explain why they were going to be late. She leans forward over Tess' shoulder. "Come on, we can't be that far off."

Ethan stares dead ahead, waiting for instructions and wondering if he's going to have to drive around _all _day? Ash grins, and nudges the driver with his elbow. "What is it with women and asking for directions?"

He can see an oncoming vehicle out of the corner of his eye, but he's not worrying about it; it's not until he sees that it's not slowing down that he begins to worry. The impact is imminent; he needs to warn the others. But it's already too late.

Glass shatters as the vehicle hits, forcing them over and into oblivion. The impact is sharp; screams fill the air as metal burns against the surface of the road. Then everything falls quiet and all thoughts turn to black.

.o.0.o.

There's a high pitched ringing in her ears that doesn't relent, dark shadows move along the outskirts of her vision, creeping and retreating in waves of dizziness. She knows it's bad. Everything's blurred; muffled voices speak unheard words, crying for help that is not yet on its way. She doesn't know how long she's been unconscious; she just needs to know how her team are. Catching hold of the seat in front, Connie tries to move, but the bolt of pain that shoots across her ribs and around to her spine tells her that it's out of the question. A cry escapes her lips and she immediately places a bloodied hand over her mouth, burying her emotions inside.

"Everyone okay?" Connie tries to ask but her voice is slurred and quiet. Battling away the nausea, she tries again, praying that someone will answer her. "Everyone okay?"

"Yeah," Tess calls back, craning her neck to look behind her, her eyes searching frantically for the clinical lead. There's a wide gash on the nurse's forehead and her eyes are red with pain.

"Connie..." There's a tone of relief in her voice.

"You alright?" Connie asks again as if repeating herself over and over is some kind of reassurance. She knows the shock will set in soon. Tess nods, but her thoughts are scattered like the shards of glass around them.

"I can't feel my arm!" Lily cries out, shrieking as she sees the blood. " I can't feel my arm!"

"It's okay, Lily," Tess stretches a hand out and lays it on the girls' shoulder, trying to calm her. "Everything will be okay."

Connie quickly recovers herself, and tries desperately to grasp hold of some thought that will remind her of what she's supposed to do. She hauls her way towards her handbag. She needs to phone an ambulance.

Something rips inside her, bone against flesh, as she wraps her fingers around the handle of her bag. Connie struggles to hide her pain, and busies herself trying to find her phone, rummaging with determination. She looks to Tess, her eyes asking the words she can't say.

"Ethan's in and out," Tess says quietly, "but his pulse is very weak." She turns around. "Ash?"

"Just a dislocated shoulder," he replies amidst Lily's cries. There's blood on his shirt and some smeared across his cheek; his hands are shaking. "I'm alright."

Connie nods; she doesn't want to think about her own injuries.

"Stay with him," she says. "Just keep talking, and whatever you do, don't stop."

Her voice is lacking in that usual tone devoid of emotion. She knows she's scared, and she wishes that she wasn't. Her hands shake terribly as she dials the emergency number. "Ambulance please," she breathes through the pain. "We need an ambulance, please."

Tess is looking at her, her head tilted to the side as a sense of dread starts to set in. A million 'what ifs' race through her mind, but she pushes them away in denial. Everything _will _be alright… It has to be.

Seeing the expression on Tess' face, Connie tries to smile, but really it's only a wince. The shards of glass from the smashed windows glint in the sunlight, glaring at her in not at all a comforting way. She wants to say they'll all be fine, but deep down she knows. She knows it's all her fault.

"Connie, I'm losing him," Ash exclaims frantically as he feels for Ethan's pulse. It's all taking too long, he thinks. Why isn't the ambulance here yet? He turns to face Mrs. Beauchamp, his eyes as hard as nails; angry. She swallows. "Keep him conscious."

Tess is looking at her again, almost unaware of the blood dripping down her own face. "Connie?"

She meets the nurses' gaze, her knuckles white as she grips the phone. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie," Tess says admonishingly. Connie sighs. "It's only a few broken ribs. Maybe some internal bleeding, who knows?"

She isn't sure whether the light hearted tone is helping, but she needs to focus on the others, not herself. Tess lays a hand on her knee, pointing at the large piece of debris cutting across the back of it, preventing her from moving. "I wouldn't exactly describe that as _fine_."

"It's just a cut, Tess," Connie replies; she hates the fact her voice comes out only as a whisper. "But I do need something to stem the blood."

The fact that the clinical lead is still thinking logically surprises Tess, and, without a moment's hesitation, she takes the scarf from around her neck and places it around the wound. "Here, this should do."

Connie flinches and turns her head to one side. "Thanks."

"What do you suppose their ETA is?" Tess asks in an attempt to change the subject, taking Connie's left hand and pressing it to the scarf. Connie shakes her head. "Ten… fifteen minutes, maybe."

"He's lost too much blood," Tess says, gesturing towards Ethan. "His head wound is quite severe."

Connie stares at her, eyes wide. They can't lose him. "He'll be fine," she says, but it feels like a lie, and she knows Tess can see straight through it anyway. A muffled scream interrupts her thoughts as Lily begins to thrash in front of them, yelling, "I want to get out! Get me out!"

Keeping her voice steady, Connie instantly calls to Lily. "Lily? Lily, it's Connie. Can you hear me?"

The young doctor is still screaming, her voice hoarse as she tries in vain to reign in her emotions. Ignoring her pain, Connie reaches forward to place a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder, attempting to comfort her in one of the very few ways she knows how. "Just breathe, Lily. Breathe with me."

Lily shakes her head, struggling to regulate her heartbeat. Connie traces a small circle on Lily's shoulder; Tess holds Lily's right hand tightly in her own.

"Okay Lily, breathe. In… and out," Connie says softly, her own voice wavering as she speaks. "In… and out. That's it."

"You're doing brilliantly, Lily," Tess smiles weakly, her gaze drifting towards Ethan every so often. For some reason the small circles Connie traces on Lily's shoulder with her thumb seems to calm her, and before long she is breathing normally again.

"Okay Lily, the ambulance is on its way," Connie says. "It won't be long now."

"He's not going to last much longer," Ash says suddenly, spitting the words out like venom. Tess rubs her eyes. "He'll last till the ambulance gets here. That's all we need."

An eerie silence fills the wreckage and all of a sudden everything begins to look dim. They need to keep talking, keep addressing the issue and find a number of solutions. If they lose Ethan… None of this should have happened. Tess breaks the silence first. "One of us will have to inform the paramedics…" Her voice trails off, her gaze settling upon Mrs. Beauchamp.

"Ash?" Connie asks slowly, her eyes fixed on Ethan in front. "Can you get out?"

Ash frowns. "I could make it through the door window."

"Good," Connie replies quickly, trying to ignore the fact that her heartbeat is becoming irregular. "As soon as the paramedics arrive, I need you out and explaining what's happened. Okay?"

Ash nods, and then adds, "What if he doesn't make it?"

"He will," is all Connie says in reply. She may not show it, and she may be blunt, but deep down she cares for them. And she'll be damned if anything happens to her team.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Obviously, I don't own Casualty. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Hello all you lovely people! Thank you so so much to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed so far :D I'm amazed at how many this story has got already! And thank you to the Guests too :) It means a lot. So, here's the next update! Yay! I hope it fulfills everyone's expectations? If you have a spare second, please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. More to come soon! Enjoy :) x**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 3<strong>

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><p>It seems to take an age for the ambulance to arrive, hours, maybe even days, but there's a clear change in mood when the team hears the familiar sound of sirens. Ash looks to Connie, knowing he should now get out of the vehicle and do as she says. She nods gratefully. With a groan of pain, Ash hauls himself up and out of the window, resting for a while before moving towards the edge of the windscreen. He can see Jeff and Dixie running towards them. He doesn't remember ever feeling quite so relieved to see them.<p>

Jeff holds out his hand. "Ash, come on, mate."

Ash grabs a hold of him as the paramedic helps him to the ground. Jeff frowns, but his voice is steady. "Are you alright?"

"Dislocated shoulder, I think," Ash replies, struggling to stay calm. Jeff takes a hold of his arm to steady him. He doesn't understand how this all happened, he doesn't want to think about it. All he needs to do is focus on the job at hand, and make sure everyone is okay. Because his colleagues are more than just his colleagues; they're his friends. "And the others?"

Ash takes a deep breath, uncertain. Jeff nods. "Okay, talk me through it."

Closing his eyes, Ash leans on the car for support. He feels sick. "Ethan's unconscious. He's trapped, and he's got a slowing heart rate…"

Jeff kneels down beside Ash, taking his pulse as he peers through the cracked windscreen at the rest of the team. Ash takes another deep breath. He knows hyperventilation is not an option. "Lily has a suspected brachial plexus injury, no movement and loss of sensation in the upper arm…"

Jeff grimaces. They're going to need all the help they can get. He turns towards the other vehicle. "Dix! Chase the other unit, please!"

Dixie's in the other vehicle, helping the other casualty. Her voice calls back loud and clear, "Yeah, on it!"

Jeff nods to Ash, urging him to keep going. The doctor inhales sharply and releases his breaths slowly, "Mrs. Beauchamp's trapped. Her leg's punctured, and she's got a few broken ribs."

Jeff nods, and peers further into the wreckage. "Connie, it's Jeff. How bad are you?"

She looks pale, the red blood vivid against her skin. She attempts a smile. "I can wait. Just get the others out first."

Jeff frowns. "You sure?"

"Positive," Connie replies firmly. Tess gives her a knowing look but turns to face Jeff and points a finger at Ethan. "His resp rate's dropping."

"Get him out, please!" Lily bursts into tears. "Please, just get him out."

Tess quickly turns to Lily, reassuring her that everything will be okay. She doesn't know whether she's saying it to reassure Lily or herself more. "He'll be okay. Just breathe."

"Tess?" Jeff asks. "You okay?"

Tess nods vigorously. "Yeah."

Jeff smiles encouragingly, and sets his mind to working out the best possible way of getting Ethan out. He knows it won't be easy. Ash shakes next to him, shivering in the cold. "I'm not going anywhere until at least one of them is out," he says decisively, despite his own state.

Connie tugs on Tess' sleeve, trying to gain the nurses' attention. "Tess?"

Tess turns towards her, her face grim. She wishes she could just get out, but she knows the others need her for the time being. Connie swallows, her throat dry. "Can you ask Ash to ring Charlie? They need to know."

Tess doesn't know why she hasn't thought of that; she's just glad she isn't the one who has to break the news. How worried they'll all be. She calls to Ash, "Ash? Have you got your phone?"

"No, it's still in the car," he calls back shakily, already guessing at what Tess is asking him to do. Connie presses her phone into Tess' hand. "Use mine."

Tess passes the phone towards the front of the vehicle and passes it through the small crack in the windscreen. Ash carefully takes the phone, avoiding the shards of glass. He doesn't want to think about how Connie's phone is covered with her dried blood. He's sick of blood. Nodding, Ash slowly walks away from the wreckage and dials Charlie's number.

.o.0.o.

He can't help but be surprised when his phone starts to ring. It hardly ever rings when he's on duty. Charlie takes his phone out of his pocket, and sighs when he sees the name of the caller. What did the Wicked Witch want now?

He really can't believe she's still trying to get him to retire, to leave everything he knows and loves. Charlie belongs here; it's his life. He won't let her take that away from him.

Hovering a finger over the 'end call' button, Charlie wonders whether he should answer or not. Surely it's better to endure her wrath now rather than later, he thinks; or preferably not at all. Sensing a storm, Charlie answers the phone and lifts it to his ear. "Connie," he greets. "What can I do for you?"

There's a muffled silence on the other end of the line, and for a moment there is nothing. Then a voice comes through, "Hello Charlie."

It's not Connie. It's Ash. His heart plummets.

"There's been an accident," Ash says, getting straight to the point. He doesn't want to linger on the details. "We… we collided with another vehicle."

Charlie's shocked, his eyes wide. He doesn't know what to say. Ash carries on regardless. "I need you to let the team know."

"Is everyone alright?" Charlie asks. It can't be that bad, can it? The only answer he receives is the crackling of the line.

"Ash?" He asks again, more firmly this time. "Is everyone alright?"

He doesn't know what to say, how to explain. There's so much blood. "Tess is okay, just a few minor bruises and scratches," Ash relays, turning around to face the wreckage and scanning each team member, analysing their status. "Lily's arm is injured pretty badly. Ethan's unconscious…"

Charlie sits down, dropping into a seat like a lead weight. "And Connie?"

The line crackles. "She's got a trapped leg and a few broken ribs."

Charlie can hear the unmistakable tone of anger in Ash's voice. He knows what he's thinking. He's heard it all too often. Ash clears his throat. "She's fine."

Charlie frowns, considering his choice of words carefully. "It's not her fault, Ash."

He doesn't want to defend their clinical lead, but if anything, punishing one person for an unforeseen circumstance and blaming them is far from fair. Nobody could have done anything to stop it.

Charlie sighs. As much as Mrs. Beauchamp irritates him, she does an amazing job for the ED, and when things get tough she really does pull everyone through in one way or another. And, despite what everyone thinks, they do need her.

Ash frowns, and hums, neither acknowledging nor dismissing Charlie's reply. "Can you let everyone know? They'll be bringing them in soon."

Charlie stands up, and makes his way over to Reception, the words already forming in his mind. "Of course."

"I'll see you later, Charlie," Ash says, and then he puts the phone down.

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><p><strong>AN2: Can't wait for tonight's episode! Hope Connie and Zoe finally get along. Plus, did anyone spot Jeff in last week's Doctor Who? x**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Obviously, I don't own Casualty. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Hello again folks! Hope you all had a lovely half-term? I had a lovely 'independent study week' - whatever that was... Anyway, thank you very much to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed :D It means an awful lot! Here's the next update as requested! Yay! I hope you all enjoy it? If you have a millisecond of time, please leave a review and let me know what you think. Any constructive criticism is welcome too. More to come soon! Enjoy :) x**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 4<strong>

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><p>Tess is the first to get out, quickly followed by Lily. The young doctor however is in by far worse a state, and her level of hysteria is still increasing rather than declining. She's strapped into the stretcher, the paramedics preparing her for the ambulance. Tess stands by her side, attempting to give whatever support she can.<p>

"Get them off me!" Lily shrieks in terror. "I don't like it!"

"Lily!" Tess tries to gain her attention. "You're going to have to stay still and do as they say. Okay? You're doing really well."

They're ready to move her into the ambulance, and Tess is going with her. She takes one last look over her shoulder at the wreckage before making following the paramedics. She can only hope that this will soon be over.

Meanwhile Jeff is still trying to figure out a way of getting Ethan out safely. He's trapped firmly against the steering wheel, and the only way that they can gain entrance, as confirmed so far by the lead firefighter, is through the passenger door, which is going to take at least ten minutes.

But Jeff isn't prepared to wait ten minutes. They might not have that long.

"I could give you access through the front windshield – is that any good?" the lead firefighter suggests, quickly running through the tricky procedure in his head. It's their only option now. Jeff pats his shoulder. "Yeah, that's brilliant mate. Cheers."

Walking back towards the vehicle, Jeff sees Ash lingering by the roadside. He needs to be in hospital having that shoulder assessed. There's no use him being here. "Ash, mate?" Jeff calls. "You need to go to hospital."

Ash nods. "Any news?"

"We're going to get them out, just focus on that, okay?" Jeff replies, not wanting to worry the doctor any further. "Come on, you can get in with the others."

The other ambulance is about to drive off, but Jeff quickly flags it down and helps Ash climb into the back. He sits next to Tess, his mouth clamped shut. She nods gratefully at Jeff before he closes the ambulance doors behind them, and they make their way to hospital.

She holds Lily's hand for the entire journey, squeezing occasionally to reassure the girl. Her mind wonders back to the wreckage, to Ethan and Connie. She knows she shouldn't worry.

Ash doesn't speak, he just stares dead ahead at the opposite side of the ambulance. Tess decides not to ask any questions.

They sit in silence.

.o.0.o.

It's not as busy as it usually is at this time of day in the ED, but Charlie knows that that will soon change once the paramedics arrive. It's his job to tell the others, and he knows it will hit them hard, harder than anything ever has before, but he can't find a way to soften the blow.

"Right, gather round everyone," Charlie says, walking towards the nurses' station, "I need your full attention."

Clusters of nurses and porters gather round him, and already the words are sticking in his throat. They all look at him, eyes wide and expectant. He takes a deep breath, "I'm afraid there's been a car accident involving our doctors and Tess." He doesn't stop talking, afraid that someone will interrupt and he won't be able to say the rest. "The paramedics are on site treating casualties, two of which appear to be serious. The driver of the other vehicle is on his way now."

Caleb steps forward, his face stricken with worry. "How about the driver of our vehicle?"

Charlie sighs. "That's all I know." He turns to address the rest of the room, scanning every worried face. "I do know that it's going to be difficult treating our own, and we're all going to be worried, but can I ask one thing? No heroes. All right? If you feel the stress is getting to you or that your concentration is slipping, I need to know. There's no shame in sitting this one out, okay? Right, Robyn and Cal, with me.

Without another word, Robyn follows Charlie towards the entrance. She can't believe the words she's just heard. It can't be real, she thinks; not really. Cal suddenly catches up, whispering in Charlie's ear, "Charlie, how serious is it?"

Charlie turns to look at the doctor, a faint crease between his brows as he frowns. "All I know is what I've just told everybody."

Cal bites his lip. He is sure Charlie knows more than he's letting on. Robyn walks alongside them. "But… how did it happen?"

Charlie sighs. He doesn't want to worry them too much. "The way it sounds is the other vehicle just swiped them off the road," he says, matter-of-factly. They're near the entrance now; he can already see the ambulance. "Ok, Robyn – I need you to go with Tess, and Lily."

Ash walks slowly towards them, favouring his right shoulder; his face is grim.

"Ash," Cal greets the other doctor, relieved. "What's the update? How's Ethan?

Ash swallows, forcing the words out. "He's stable, but trapped."

Cal catches a glimpse of a spinal board out of the corner of his eye. He stares at Ash, waiting for more information, but Ash doesn't seem willing to give any.

"Until they get him out, we can't know the full situation," Ash says coldly, and then turns to watch the other paramedics lead the driver of the other vehicle, an elderly man who keeps on insisting he is fine, into the ED.

Charlie leans in. "How is he really?" he asks, referring to Ethan. Ash looks down at his feet. "Not good."

Charlie assesses the doctor's shoulder quickly, following the procedure for the injury through in his head. "You planning on working?"

Ash shakes his head. "I'm going to get this seen too first before I do anything."

Charlie nods, "Okay, come on." He leads Ash into the ED, glancing over his shoulder as Tess walks in behind Lily. She doesn't catch his eye.

"We're in the hospital now, Lily," Tess says comfortingly, even though she still can't keep her voice from shaking. Robyn walks ahead of her, her gaze flickering from one woman to the other. Lily lifts her oxygen mask.

"I need an MRI scan," she says quietly. She wishes her voice was louder. Tess smiles sadly. "Doctors already have a reputation for being bad patients so don't make it any worse."

But Lily isn't listening. "Morphine!" She gasps. "I need Morphine!"

Robyn nods. "You just keep sucking on that, we'll get you the good stuff in a minute, okay?"


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: Casualty doesn't belong to me. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Another update! Yay! So sorry it's a little later than I intended. Once again thank you soooo much for all the lovely reviews and to everyone who has followed & favourited :D Honestly, they make waking up at 6am most days worth it! So, here's the next update as requested! The last episode was so unbelievably sad and I just can't get enough of this series! But for now I'll have to make do with writing fanfiction :) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it. And, if you have one teeny tiny second of time, please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. All feedback is welcome. More to come soon! Enjoy :) x**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 5<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ethan?"<p>

He can hear someone calling his name.

"Ethan, can you hear me?"

The voice sounds familiar, but he can't quite pinpoint the person it belongs to. He's certain he knows that voice. But his head hurts too much to think about it.

"Ethan, it's Jeff."

Ah, yes, Jeff. But why was Jeff there? Wasn't he meant to be at Holby with everyone else?

He tries to remember, tries to recollect what had happened, but everything's a blur and the pieces he tries to fit together don't make any sense.

"You've been in a car accident, mate," Jeff says calmly. "Just hold on for me, alright?"

_Everything spinning into oblivion, his hands trying to grab hold of the steering wheel, the others screaming as the world fades to black and he is sucked into a dreamless sleep..._ Yes, he remembers now.

He turns to Dixie by his side, shifting from one knee to the other to stop them from getting cramp. She shakes her head.

"We need to get a line in," Dixie says determinedly, and goes to find someone who can help them immediately.

"Connie?" Jeff calls, peering through the glass. "I'm gonna get Ethan out first, okay? And then I'll get you something for the pain."

Mrs. Beauchamp stares straight at him, her eyes only half open. "I'm fine," she says. "Just make sure he's alright."

She can hear the other ambulance approaching. It won't be long now, she reassures herself. She can see someone walking towards Dixie, a bag slung over her shoulder. Probably Tamsin. They're talking, but Dixie doesn't look pleased.

Connie isn't sure what to make of it all.

"Ethan?" Tamsin says when she approaches the vehicle, but it's more of a shocked statement than a question. She kneels down next to Jeff, searching his eyes. He smiles at her.

"Yeah, worst case scenario," he says, "vehicle full of your mates." His gaze falls on Ethan, his mind wandering into a far off place as the words sink in. _His_ mates… and he doesn't want to lose any of them.

"That why Dixie was just off with me, then?" Tamsin interrupts his thoughts, her pretty face creased into a frown. But he can see the glimmer of mischief behind her eyes. She can't fool him.

Jeff shrugs. "Well, that and professional focus." His voice trails off. "I've just asked her for a divorce."

"Already?" Tamsin sounds surprised. Jeff smiles widely. "We've got dinner plans, haven't we?"

Connie watches the pair hesitantly, eyes darting from one paramedic to the other. She can't hear a word they're saying, but that doesn't matter. She's seen the way he looks at her and her at him; the way his voice softens when she's around, the way her eyes brighten when he walks into a room. Connie smiles inwardly. Her speculations are confirmed.

.o.0.o.

Ash tries not to wince as Charlie fixes his shoulder back in place, gently manipulating the bone back into its socket. He's already had an x-ray to ensure that the bone isn't broken, and an ultrasound to see if the rotator cuff tendons have been damaged or torn. Thankfully neither revealed anything that would cause further worry. Now all that needs to be done is the reduction process.

He has broken bones before so a dislocation should seem like nothing; except with everything else that's happened it feels like agony.

Charlie glances at him quickly. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks. Straightforward, to the point, no beating around the bush; Ash likes that about Charlie.

The ED is as busy as usual, and yet there's an eerie silence in every corridor. For the last few hours it's as if a vacuum has swallowed them up and deposited them in a void of nothing. They're all treading on eggshells.

"I'm fine," Ash says.

Charlie sighs. "You're not answering my question."

Ash fidgets a little. "No… no, I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Charlie nods firmly, his fingers working deftly on the sling, bending the doctor's elbow at a right angle as he fastens the knot, "but you know where I am if you do."

Ash tries to conjure a smile. "Thanks Charlie."

.o.0.o.

Finally. That's all he can think: _finally._

Finally, they're ready to get Ethan out and into the ambulance. It seems like it all happened only seconds ago since, but at the same time everything previous to this moment has become a blur, a timeline smeared across a few terrifying minutes.

Jeff clears his throat. "Okay Ethan, next stop Holby ED. You've got a nice, cosy period of recovery to look forward to."

Connie almost laughs, but it comes out as more of a groan. Jeff bends down, sitting on his knees. "What do you think to that, Mrs Beauchamp?"

"Count me in," she replies.

"So, that's the two of you tucked up in bed," Jeff says with a hint of laughter in his voice as he imagines the scene. "Daytime tele, box sets, and all on full pay. Can't be that bad, can it?"

Connie watches as Jeff looks back over his shoulder, grinning like a silly teenager. She can just make out Tamsin standing a few feet away. She's sure she whispers: 'I love you'. Or perhaps it's just her imagination.

"What do you think, Ethan?" Connie calls, straining against the debris pinning her leg down. "Downton Abbey, Sherlock, or Doctor Who? Or are you more of The Walking Dead and The Big Bang Theory type?"

The words sound strange on her lips, dropping off almost easily. Yet this is the kind of conversation that she avoids at all costs: personal interests, finding the common ground; it's all off limits because she can't bear the thought of becoming involved in other people's lives. Now she wonders why.

Ethan breathes against the oxygen mask. "Doctor Who sounds good to me."

Connie smiles, watching as Dixie walks towards the vehicle. "That's settled then."

"I… didn't take you… for a Doctor Who fan," Ethan says slowly. "Didn't think… you'd like sci-fi."

"That's because it's strictly confidential information, so you'd better keep it to yourself," Connie smiles slightly. "Spoilers."

Jeff shifts his position as Dixie kneels down next to him, her mouth a thin tight line. "You ready?" she asks quietly. Jeff nods, looking from Ethan to Connie and back again like he's suddenly realised something that hadn't crossed his mind.

"Absolutely," he replies confidently. "We're ready."

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: Is very sad atm because 1) Doctor Who has finished *cries*, 2) Grantchester has finished, 3) Scott & Bailey has finished, and 4) Downton Abbey has finished *wails*. Seriously, there's hardly anything left to watch! Thank goodness Casualty has 40 episodes! x**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: Casualty does not belong to me. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Hello again! It's another update! Thank you so very much for all the lovely reviews and to everyone who has followed & favourited :D You guys are amazing! So, here's the next update as requested. I wasn't going to update this soon, but I decided to cut this chapter in half so I wouldn't have to keep you all waiting too long. I hope you all enjoy it. And, if you have a split-microsecond, please leave a review and let me know what you think? Constructive criticism is very welcome. More to come soon! Enjoy :) x**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 6<strong>

* * *

><p>He doesn't think he's ever been so nervous in all his life. Not at school, not at University, not even at work. It's like his brain has gone into overdrive and he can't think properly anymore. His eyes sting from holding back anxious tears and his jaw aches from gritting his teeth so much. Not that he ever cries.<p>

All this pain because of his little brother.

As he turns into the next corridor, Cal just about catches the end of Charlie's conversation. Ash stands next to him.

"They're bringing Ethan in now," Charlie says.

Cal runs to catch them up. "That was Ethan, right?" he asks quickly, wanting to take full advantage of the situation. "I want to treat him."

Ash's eyes widen, almost criticising him as he considers the request. "Are you sure?" he asks. Cal shrugs as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You can't do it with that shoulder and there isn't anyone else."

Charlie looks uneasy. "It shouldn't really be a family member."

"Do you want me to help? I could supervise," Ash suggests. "Just in case you want a second opinion."

Charlie shakes his head. "Ash, you need to rest that shoulder."

"Charlie…" Ash sighs, tapping his fingers irritably against his thigh. He can't sit around while he's still needed. He can still work, still help, even if it's only something small and simple. He _wants_ to help.

Cal looks between the doctor and the nurse, assessing each of them before saying, "I'll be fine." He starts to walk away. "But if I need any help I'll ask for it."

.o.0.o.

"Alright Connie, can you still hear me?" Jeff calls, shuffling closer to the clinical lead. Connie lifts her head, nodding ever so slightly. She feels dizzy, like she's spun Grace round too many times. She used to do that a lot.

Jeff smiles grimly. "Just hang on in there, princess. We'll get you out soon."

"I'm cold," Connie whispers, shivering. Jeff carefully wraps his hand around hers, squeezing tightly. He doesn't avoid her gaze, doesn't shy away. He knows she's lost too much blood, and even though her mind may still be alert, her body is soon going to start shutting down. And the sad thing is she knows that too.

He rubs her hand, trying to warm it. "I know."

Jeff looks back over his shoulder at the rest of the team, paramedics and fire-fighters alike, wondering what he alone can do to rectify the situation. Grabbing an ice pack, Jeff hands it to Connie who takes it slowly from his hand. "I've got an idea," he says. "Wrap that around the wound, okay?"

Connie places the bag onto the wound, her fingers shaking as the blood smears across her fingers. It's larger than Tess' scarf and far more capable of stemming the blood; but that doesn't rectify the fact that she's lost more blood than is normal at this stage.

Jeff cocks his head to one side. "How you feeling?"

Her reply muffles against the oxygen mask. "I-I'm fine." She can't think of anything else to say, doesn't want to linger on that subject. "What time is it?"

Jeff diverts from the topic. If Mrs. Beauchamp knew how long she'd been in the wreckage then she'd start to panic. And the last thing he needed was for the Holby ED Clinical Lead to become hysterical and lose her nerve. Jeff smiles, his mouth a thin pressed line. "Listen Connie," he says, "they're gonna have to cut the back of the vehicle off to get you out."

Her eyes widen a little, but she doesn't say anything else. Jeff glances over his shoulder. "I'm gonna do my best, okay? So I'm going to give you some fluids and analgesia for the pain."

"Thanks Jeff," she whispers quietly, although she had intended her voice to be louder, clearer, less like a child. He nods. "Connie, don't be a martyr. If things change you have got to let me know. No excuses. I know you."

Her eyes narrow and he catches a glimpse of her infamous 'ice glare' hidden behind her fear. He chuckles. "I'm being serious, Mrs. Beauchamp."

She tries a smile. "Okay."

He makes to leave, but he can see the setting panic in her eyes as he does so. Kneeling down again, Jeff places a hand on her shoulder and squeezes it tightly. "Hey, don't worry; I'll be back before you know it." And then he rises and crawls back out into the afternoon sunlight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: I really can't wait for next weeks episode. They've finally brought Grace into the story!**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: Casualty does not belong to me. All rights belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Why hello there fellow Casualty fans! Once again thank you all very much for all the reviews and to everyone who has followed & favourited this story :D I never thought it would receive such amazing feedback! So, here's the next update. I apologise for its shortness (being the second half of the intended chapter) but the next one should be longer. Hope you all enjoy it? And, if you have tiny-teeny second of wibbly-wobbly time, please leave a review and let me know your thoughts? More to come soon! Enjoy :) x**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 7<strong>

* * *

><p>Holby ED is a blessed relief when it comes into view, Tamsin thinks to herself as she exits the ambulance, quickly followed by an unconscious Ethan. It feels like hours since she's been here. Taking control of the situation, Tamsin quickly wheels Ethan into the emergency department and starts to give out the information the doctors need to save his life. And she prays that they <em>can<em> in fact save him.

"Okay," Tamsin clears her throat as Dr Knight appears at her side. "Ethan was driving, trapped for forty-five minutes. He was KO-d at the scene; chest and head injury. On arrival his GCS was thirteen, pulse one-hundred-and-twenty, BP was stable at ninety systolic. Gats are ninety-eight percent. BM is 5."

Cal blinks rapidly as they enter resus, trying to ignore the painful hammering of his heart. Tamsin carries on, "He's had ten of morphine, ten of metoclopramide, and 1.5 litres of saline. Okay?"

"Okay," Cal nods. He feels like he's in a daze. That's my little brother, is all he can think, _my_ little brother and I've got to save him.

"Onto this bed, please," Dr Knight says, gesturing towards the free bed. He clears his mind as best he can as Tamsin and the rest of the team carefully transfer Ethan over from the trolley to the hospital bed. He isn't sure whether he can do this, but he's got no choice. There isn't anyone else.

Moving to stand by his little brother, Cal puts his personal feelings aside and focuses on the job at hand. Ethan's eyes widen when he sees him, and he tries to move. "Cal…"

"Hey, don't try and speak alright?" Cal says, and then adds, "I know what I'm doing."

.o.0.o.

Despite Charlie's insistence that he rest, Ash makes his way around the ED, helping out where he can. He wants to be useful, and yet another part of him wants to stop because he knows that he's only pushing himself farther than he needs to.

The casualty in the other vehicle has been seen to by Charlie; he's got away with minor injuries. It's weird, Ash thinks, that such a small action can bring fateful consequences.

"You alright?" Charlie asks as he approaches the weary-looking doctor, a clipboard in his hand. The reception area is no busier than usual, in spite of the fact that they are three doctors and one clinical lead down, and Charlie sits down in the empty seat next to him.

Ash stares ahead. "Not really."

"You know," Charlie says, shifting slightly, "nobody blames you for being...for being a bit out of it. It's okay to not be okay."

"I know," Ash sighs. "It's just…"

"No excuses," Charlie says persuasively. "Go and take a few minutes off. Gather your thoughts, grab a coffee or something. We'll go from there, okay?"

It's silent for a few moments, until Ash painstakingly rises from his seat and pats the nurse on the shoulder gratefully. "Thanks Charlie."

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: The last episode was so so sad :'( Honestly, there needs to be a happier plot line in there somewhere.**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: Casualty doesn't belong to me. All rights forever belong to the BBC.**

**A/N: Hello again :) It's been a while since I updated last, but now thankfully Uni is over and Christmas is nearly here! Thank you all once again for taking the time to review and to everyone who has followed & favourited this story. This chapter is longer than the last one but will probably be the only update this side of Christmas. So, I hope you all enjoy it? Any feedback is very welcome and i****f you have a spare moment, please leave a review and let me know what you think? More to come soon! Enjoy and have a very Merry Christmas! :) x**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 8<strong>

* * *

><p>"We'll keep him spinally immobilised and I want a full trauma scan," says Dr. Knight, his eyes flickering to the nurse who nods hurriedly, before assessing the extent of the damage his brother's battered body has received. He feels his way along Ethan's ribs but they are not broken, and as he prods the skin meticulously, Ethan suddenly cries out, his hands in the air.<p>

"It… hurts," he explains weakly, closing his eyes. Although he knows that much is obvious to the Doctor and nurse as they frown worriedly at him. Cal watches his brother carefully as he moves on to survey his chest. "Just lie still for me, okay?" He almost expects Ethan to say something in reply.

"BP 110 over 70," Lofty informs the Doctor. Cal nods. "Okay, I want another 5 of morphine for the pain." He leans over, listening to his brother's chest. "What are we thinking?" He asks, as if he were asking his brother for advice. "Possible pneumothorax?"

A pneumothorax is highly probably after receiving a severe chest injury, Cal thinks, and as Ethan's been in a car crash it's got to be a high possibility. He'll need a chest x-ray to confirm it. The air builds and is trapped between a lung and the chest wall. In most cases, the pressure of the air that leaks out of the lung and the air inside the lung balances out, but if too much leaks out then the entire lung can collapse.

Coming back to reality, Cal swallows and wrinkles his nose. "You know what, don't answer that."

Ethan frowns, his eyes creasing at the edges. Cal straightens up. "So… let's get a chest x-ray before we think about a CT."

.o.0.o.

"How's he doing?" Ash asks as he approaches the younger doctor warily, leaning against the reception desk just out of the others' hearing. He knows how they can gossip. And around here it spreads like wildfire.

Cal shrugs. "His chest x-ray was clear." He folds his arms across his chest. "He's in CT now."

Ash hesitates, noting how Dr. Knight has taken to brazening his defence. His eyes are lowered to the ground, but his body posture has all the tell-tale signs of wanting to appear confident and unaffected.

"Are you okay?" Ash asks after a while.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Cal replies nonchalantly, and then adds, "I think. How 'bout you?"

"I'm as well as can be expected," Ash says indifferently, but nevertheless offers a small smile. "I'll be fine," he adds and watches as Cal begins to walk away.

"Good, good."

.o.0.o.

Cal stands in resus, his thoughts torn between his heart and mind. He needs to figure this out, he needs to treat Ethan and save his life. But that small irritating voice in the back of his mind reminds him of every worst case scenario possible. What if he fails? What if he fails and he can't save his own brother? The thought is like a knife in his back, wriggling its way towards his heart with hateful determination. He needs to focus.

"Heart rate increasing. BP diving," Lofty informs the doctor grimly, his eyes glancing towards Ash who stands in the corner silently watching them. Cal blinks, taking deep breath as he assesses the state that his brother is in. "Muffled heart sound, engorged neck vein, pulsus paradoxus…" He looks across to Lofty. "Beck's triad?"

Lofty holds up his hands, silently telling him that in this situation he really doesn't know, and that Cal will have to figure this out on his own.

"He's got a tamponade," Cal says, now turning his focus to Ash, his voice imploring him for help. But Dr. Ashford stands firm.

"So…" Cal straightens up, feeling tiny beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. "We need to do a pericardiocentitis."

Finally Ash takes a step forward. "Can you do an echo?"

"I don't think there's time," Cal replies, twisting his wrist to glance at his watch. He turns, eyes darting around the room. Lofty comes into his vision. "What do you need?" the nurse asks confidently.

"I need…" Cal says slowly as he pieces the parts together to form a neurological picture, "an 18 gauge cannula… on a 20…"

"A 50ml syringe?" Ash offers quietly. Cal nods in agreement. "Yes, a 50ml syringe, and a 3-way tap."

Lofty nods quickly and goes to prepare what the doctor needs, all the while feeling very nervous. His mind had yet to determine whether this was all really happening. Perhaps it was all just a dream? Perhaps his was soon to wake up and have to hurry out of bed because he'd slept over and was late once again? But Lofty knew that wasn't really true. He knew it was happening. And he hated it.

.o.0.o.

"Hey Connie, how you feeling?" Jeff looks over his shoulder. They're taking far too long, he thinks irritably. Connie frowns, too exhausted for words. With a careful hand, Jeff presses the oxygen mask to her face, checking her pulse with his free hand. It's slow.

He knows he can't wait much longer. Can't they move the seat back or something? It would be too dangerous to try and haul her out, but at the speed things are currently happening it seems like a good option.

Connie squeezes his hand. "The others?" She asks, a wheeze accompanying her voice. She's shivering again.

"Ethan should be in resus now," Jeff replies reassuringly as he takes off his jacket, "and Lily should be fine too. They'll be okay."

Connie shifts slightly as he wraps his jacket around her shoulders, wincing as a sharp stabbing pain shoots through her ribs. He tucks the fabric under her skin gently.

"Jeff?"

"Yes, princess?"

Her eyes are glittering with tears. "Will you… d-do something for me?" She can't stop her teeth from chattering. "M-my daughter… Grace…"

He leans closer, sweeping her hair away from her face, away from the blood.

"I n-need to apologise," she whispers, gripping his hand so hard that it almost hurts. "I n-need to t-tell her things."

Jeff frowns. He wasn't expecting this. Only on occasion did his casualties worry about others before themselves; normally they were far too busy worrying over their own state to bother thinking about rights that needed to be put wrong, or apologies that needed to be made. In worst-case scenarios it was relatively common; the casualty would reel off a list of things they needed to do, and he would always catch a glimpse of that fierce love behind the fear. But never did he expect to see it in Connie Beauchamp.

"I'm sure you'll be able to tell her yourself," he says reassuringly.

She stares at him, wondering whether there is any truth in his words. "B-but, if I d-don't-"

Jeff stops her short, shaking his head. "I don't know what's got that daft thought into your head, Connie, but if one thing's for sure…" He grins, and wraps his jacket further around her shoulders, "it's that you worry far too much."


End file.
